Mindset Monday #49 | Who Are You Really?
Mindset Monday - Who Are You Really?
By
November 11, 2024
This is a bit of a personal one for me. I want to dive into a powerful concept that helped me tremendously in my career and has had a big impact on many players we've coached over the years. It’s about finding the balance between who you are and what you do—two things that seem inseparable but are incredibly different.
During my career as a professional fighter, I found myself struggling to separate my identity from my performance. There were times I saw myself as a "fighter," and other times when I viewed myself as simply "someone who fought." It may sound like semantics, but there’s a huge difference.
When I identified as a “fighter,” my self-worth was directly tied to how well I performed. If I had a great day on the mats, I was on top of the world. But a rough day or a poor sparring session? I felt like a failure. I rode emotional highs and lows, which impacted my mood, relationships, and how I approached life off the mat. The stakes were high because, in my mind, my performance equaled my identity.
But when I looked at myself as “someone who fights,” my perspective shifted. Fighting became an expression of my values rather than a definition of my character. My core qualities—hard work, honesty, loyalty—became my true identity. Fighting was just a way of expressing those traits.
This mindset shift isn’t something that came easily, and it's something I see many athletes struggle with. One player I’ve seen master this is Zach Hyman. He’s an incredible player with an impressive track record, but what stands out most about Zach is his mindset.
Zach’s approach? He doesn’t see himself as a “hockey player.” Instead, he’s a person who plays hockey. Zach’s identity is rooted in his core values: hard work, tenacity, and commitment. He brings these qualities to every game, but his self-worth isn’t dependent on his performance. If he has a tough day on the ice, he doesn’t let it define him as a person.
This separation allows Zach to play freely, without the fear of failure looming over him. He’s not afraid to make mistakes because he knows his self-worth goes beyond what he does on the ice. This mindset frees him up to focus on the game itself, not on the potential consequences of every single move.
When athletes believe their performance defines their identity, they’re at risk of playing with a fear-based mindset. They play not to lose rather than to win. This approach limits them, keeping them from taking the risks and bold moves that could elevate their game.
On the other hand, when you define yourself by your core values—hard work, resilience, tenacity—you create a steady foundation. Success becomes something you achieve, not something that makes you valuable. And failure becomes a learning opportunity rather than a personal condemnation.
This week, I want to challenge you to look beyond your performance and focus on the traits that truly define you. What qualities do you want to embody? Are you hardworking? Positive? Resilient? These are the aspects of yourself that make you who you are.
Then, think of your sport—or any passion—as an expression of those qualities. Let those values drive your performance, not define it. And if you have a bad game, remember that it doesn’t make you a bad person. Success and struggle can coexist, and they don’t define your worth.
Life and sports are full of highs and lows. The athletes who find success over the long term are the ones who separate who they are from what they do. They build their self-worth on a foundation of core values that carry them through wins and losses alike.
So this week, take the time to identify those qualities that matter most to you. Use them as your foundation, and let your sport be the way you express them—not the way you define yourself.
Remember, success is built over time, with consistency and self-awareness. Stick with it, and see how this mindset shift can free you up to play at your best.
